I know what I'm doing!

I recently heard somebody say that fake confidence is no different from real confidence.

This comment was made in answer to a question from a newbie to hypnosis. What was being asked was this: Where does the novice hypnotist find the confidence to approach their first subject and perform their first induction?

Well, in my opinion that's what makes somebody a hypnotist. A hypnotist doesn't do anything supernatural, nor are they using words or phrases that nobody else is able to. There's nothing to stop anybody doing what a hypnotist does, or saying what a hypnotist says; what makes a hypnotist a hypnotist is the fact that they have the confidence to look their subject in the eye as they say and do these things, and of course take it seriously.

Confidence is the key.

Now, on a seemingly completely unrelated note this weekend offered me the opportunity to try my hand at something that I've never tried before despite having lived in Oxford for several years now, which was punting on the river Thames.

I was in town showing an old school friend and his girlfriend the sights, and next to a certain pub in Oxford, the one at which we all met for the Oxford HypnoMeet in fact, there is a landing stage. It seems that from here it is possible to hire all manner of small craft in order to go out and have a bit of fun on the river. We had been sitting outside the pub in the sunshine watching various parties attempting to maneuver their punts upstream against the current and back to the landing stage, to various degrees of their own embarrassment.

It was at this point that my friend's girlfriend suggested that we should give it a go.

A punt is basically a small flat-bottomed boat that is propelled and steered by means of a pole pushed against the river bed. It's an easy experience if you're one of the passengers sat in the bottom of the boat, but rather less so for the poor unsuspecting fool who has to try to pilot it. Eessentially the unfortunate first time punter will find that what happens when you hire one is they tell you to stand on a little platform on the back of the incredibly wobbly boat, give you a 15-foot long wooden pole and push you off into the current telling you to head downstream and then come back up again against the current if you want any chance of getting your cash deposit back.

In this respect I was lucky in that my friend volunteered to go first, by being stood in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I was able to watch to see what worked and what didn't.

It was when it came to be my turn to drive that I realised just how much I have changed over the last few months. I still had absolutely no idea what I was doing when I climbed up onto that platform; I've never done anything like it before in my life. What was crazy though was that I found that I was able to outwardly put on the impression not only that I knew what I was doing, but also that I wasn't terrified of losing my balance and falling head first into the Thames.

It was also clear to me that confidence is probably a large percentage of acquiring a new skill. Against what the laws of common sense would dictate given my inherent clumsiness I was somehow able to propel us back upstream to the landing stage where our deposit and a walk to the next pub for some dinner were waiting for us.

"Are you sure you haven't done that before?" I was asked. To which of course I could only insist that I hadn't!

This is something that I have learned from becoming a hypnotist, and I think in many ways being a hypnotist is more about ones approach to a situation, any situation, than any specific set of techniques or language patterns, useful though those are.

"I know what I'm doing! I meant to do it that way!"

It's about being the master of the situation and always appearing to be on top of things. Does the subject know that you've not tried that particular induction before, or that maybe that last suggestion didn't quite work as you expected it to? If you're a good hypnotist probably not, because you're acting as though everything that happens is as you always intended.

So if you're a novice hypnotist just starting out on this amazing journey consider this:

The fear of falling is always going to be there; get used to it, because it will never go away. That said, the rewards of success are there for the taking if you want them enough. In any case, how much would it matter in the grand scheme of things if you did metaphorically fall in the Thames? Sure people might laugh at you, but the only person who can take away your dignity and make you feel embarrassed is you. Laugh along with them, because it really doesn't matter.

Similarly it's a bad idea to consider confidence as something tangible of which you posses a specific quantity. To have confidence, all you need do is believe that you have it, or pretend that you have it. The effect is the same.

So you've read the books and you're looking to do that first induction. The next and I think far more important step is to get yourself into that mindset, the hypnotist's mindset, and trust me everything will work out.

I concede that success does breed confidence and confidence breeds success, but to get into that elusive upward spiral requires a little of that fake confidence that I mentioned before, because fake confidence and real confidence are the same thing.

As they say: Fake it 'till you make it!