Assuming roles

It's amazing what you can learn very quickly about others, even people you have known for years, in the context of hypnosis. Indeed, I see hypnosis as a great amplifier of a person's true nature.

For example, I have always been a great believer in the idea that you should treat others in the way in which you would like others to treat you. This leads into trying to understand the situation from the viewpoint of the other person

I am happy to take on the role of subject in a hypnotic context, admittedly in part to satisfy my own curiosity, but also to gain an understanding of hypnosis from the point of view of my own subjects. I do not think that I would consider it fair to practice hypnosis on others from a position of being unwilling to experience it myself.

I realise that in spite of my recent progress in this area I am still an appalling subject, but the principle is there at least.

There are, however, hypnotists out there who are unwilling to play subject, and I find that in correlation these tend to be the sort of hypnotists I am uncomfortable with the idea of being a subject for.

The very nature of the relationship between hypnotist and subject requires that both assume specific roles. The hypnotist takes a position of influence over the subject, whereas the subject must assume a deferential position. In return for this control the hypnotist must also assume responsibility for the subject's well being, and show the subject respect; this is part of the hypnotic contract.

That power and control is something that a lot of people, especially men, aspire to isn't exactly a revelation, and I could spend hours discussing it. Primarily though I think the trouble is that a lot of people have such aspirations but without the due respect for those who would be below them and look to trust them.

I could rant at this point about the cultural effect of television programs such as "The weakest link" and "The apprentice" in which teamwork is portrayed as working together but only as a consequence of everyone trying to ultimately be top dog; stab your teammate in the back as soon as you can, or else they'll do it to you. The message is that you must claw your way to the top at the expense of others, and trust nobody. I do not think that this is a good role model, and I am reminded of something I once heard a politician say, which was "Be nice to people on the way up, because you might meet them on your way down!"

I think that it is important to be versatile, not just in hypnosis but also in life. There are times when one should take control and responsibility and lead, but there are also times when one should be happy to fall into step and place ones trust in someone else. I don't think that having a preference for one or the other of these roles is a bad thing, but expecting to be one but not the other at all times is not realistic and can lead to bad relations with other people.

Going back to the subject of power hungry hypnotists. I have found that there are a lot of people online who seek power over others, or at least to play that role, through online hypnosis. Usually it's men seeking women who will play a submissive role for them.

Now, there are of course examples of romantic or sexual relationships with couples practicing hypnosis on each other out there, and usually this exists in what they like to call a "D/s" or Dominant/submissive arrangement. One of the couple, usually the man, will be the hypnotist and the other will be the subject. "D/s" also exists in a number of relationships without hypnosis too, but it seems to be something which hypnosis amplifies very well.

This is probably what all the above mentioned hypnotists would probably aspire to; having a permanent subject over whom they could wield ultimate hypnotic power. What is interesting though is a dynamic that seems to exist between the participants in these relationships; amongst the successful ones at least. This is that it is always the subject who is the one determining the direction of the relationship, not the hypnotist.

The subject may enjoy being dominated, controlled or manipulated by a hypnotist, but the relationship is always following their agenda, not that of the hypnotist.

One could even go so far as to argue that the best hypnotist to have for such a relationship is paradoxically one who doesn't actually crave power, or at least one who doesn't put that before the well being of their partner.

This comes back to a point I have made before, which is that hypnosis is subject oriented. The best way to be a good hypnotist is to respect and to understand the needs of your subject, and to place those ahead of your own agenda.