Maybe... just maybe...

Well it's nearly mid December so I guess I should write something. At least this time I have something to report.

I have mentioned on more than enough occasions that I have found my inherently poor response to hypnosis to be incredibly frustrating. Well recently it occurred to me that what this reminds me of most is the case of the friend who never gets in touch. The valued friend who one gets on well with and who seems to mutually really enjoy the relationship, but who never seems to make any effort to maintain it. The feeling that if one simply ceased all attempts to contact them that would be the end of it; they'd never be heard from again.

This is exactly how I've been feeling about hypnosis. It's just me keeping it going by constant and awkward effort, and if I stopped trying, stopped making it happen, the whole relationship would simply vanish.

Now of course with the friend, when questioned about why they never make any effort to say hello from time to time, they may of course say that they have been busy, they may say any number of true and legitimate things about their life which of course I would have no reason to dispute. The thing is though that I've always believed that broadly speaking people do what they want to do, and that actions speak louder than words. Regardless of what a friend may say, if they placed any level of value on being in contact they would be anticipating the next time and miss it when it was no longer there.

Traditionally I have always been one to derive my own sense of self-worth more from evidence than self-assertion, so I'm sure that what I describe above is something that used to upset me. More recent times and a better sense of self have brought me to realise that some friendships do just naturally fade out and there are better things to be doing in life than try to force things. Forcing makes things worse, because there's nothing more awkward than someone being friendly to an uninvited guest because they feel obliged to do so. Overall it's better to see a lack of response, over a period of time, as a signal to move on and find other people who do want to know.

I guess ultimately what I'm getting at here is that in assessing my relationship with all things hypnotic I have to try to avoid the trap of seeing it as an entity in itself, and applying the same rule to it. It would be so easy to see hypnosis as an acquaintance with whom the relationship just isn't working and thus to just leave it and move on. So much of the time it does feel as though I am just forcing the interaction, that it's just me pretending something is there.

Fortunately I have been able to recognise the difference, that hypnosis is an intrinsic part of my personality, and to press on. This is all just as well, because the other day hypnosis got in touch with me.

What I mean by that, as I try to keep this increasingly fragile analogy going, is that recently I was given a post hypnotic suggestion without being aware of it, and not only that, I also unwittingly followed it.

To the reader who doesn't know what a post hypnotic suggestion feels like I shall try to explain it. Those who are expecting mystical external forces to seize their limbs and make them move uncontrollably in true zombie fashion will perhaps be disappointed. I find a post hypnotic suggestion doesn't really have any particular "feeling" associated but the effect is actually very familiar.

Try to imagine a situation where you feel inclined to do something but have to intervene with reasoning to stop yourself from doing it. A classic example, and one well related to impending festivities, might be being offered more chocolates from a box and finding your hand already in the box picking one before you've even considered whether you've already eaten far too many chocolates already. Indeed, it's not an unusual situation for the subconscious part of the brain to have taken action before the conscious mind fully appreciates what's going on. One might even eat the chocolate without giving it a second thought.

The above is of course a suggestion which one gives oneself, especially if one likes chocolate. The thing is that if someone else has given you that suggestion, under hypnosis, and you have no memory of it the experience of following that suggestion is the same. You find yourself idly doing something and not knowing why, or indeed you don't even notice what you're doing because your mind is elsewhere. There is no "feeling" as such.

Then there's the other level, which is being aware of a suggestion and yet following it anyway, and the best comparison I can think of regarding that is lying in bed in the morning and resolving to get up, and yet staying in bed anyway.

So as I was saying I was recently given a suggestion in a trance that I was completely unaware of, which I subsequently followed without knowing.

How on earth did I get the suggestion without noticing? Well, when I told the friend I've been practicing with that they should consider me fair game little did I realise how inventive they could be. Catching someone completely unexpectedly is a great little convincer that hypnosis is working, as the subject will be unprepared and delighted to find that they've responded to the suggestion before they even knew what was happening. However, my friend in this case took the idea a little bit further and caught me when I'd fallen asleep! (Yes, the parties I hold in my flat are just that exciting!)

I remember a snap of the fingers, which I thought I had dreamed, but nothing else hypnotic. Apparently my eyes were fluttering like mad and I was twitching as I listened to the suggestions they were giving me - I remember none of that!

It's interesting because it suggests to me that the dreaming state that exists on the edge of sleep is not dissimilar to a hypnotic trance. How's that for a completely non-scientific piece of reasoning.

So yes, upon waking up I had absolutely no reason to believe anything had been going on. Until, that is, I found myself stuck where I was. What's more, I'd become stuck without even giving it a second thought, and it wasn't until my friend commented "try and move" before I realised that I was trying to and failing. It all happened in such a way as to remove any doubt as to whether it was something I was simply pretending to do.

So yes, something happened without any deliberate effort from me. My relationship with hypnosis, as a subject, is not simply wishful thinking and mindless persistence on my part.

Yay!

This was a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say my restored and limitless enthusiasm for hypnosis drove me to procrastinate over blogging about it for all this time.

I really should feel more positive than I do at the moment, but none of this has brought me out of the doldrums I've been in over the last few months. Perhaps I will find some opportunities to practice some hypnosis over Christmas.

Who knows, I might even finish "Analytical Subjects III"!

We'll see...