First timers I

Right, enough of my musings; now for something actually useful.

I've had a few friends who have looked at doing a bit of hypnosis, have read a book or two, or a hundred, on how to do it and yet still haven't hypnotised anybody. This is crucial, because to my mind nobody can call themself a hypnotist until they have actually hypnotised another person, in person; it's the distinction between being a hypnotist and being a person who knows a bit about hypnosis. I should say if your sole body of experience is hypnosis over MSN, or god forbid you're one of those people who has put put up a youtube video featuring only text or a computer generated voice, you are only a person who knows a bit about hypnosis.

Anyway, I was recently chatting with a friend who has yet to put her knowledge of hypnosis into action and she said that something that's bee a problem for her is knowing what to do next. She said what would really help her would be a routine to try, so I promised I would write something to encourage her to go forward with it.

So if you're one of these people who has learned about hypnosis but never (let's face it) worked up the nerve to go and give it a go with someone, this is for you. In this post I will give you some principles to think about, and then in the next I will give you an actual routine to go and try.

So, here is my advice to newbies.

1. Deal with your anxiety.

Do you know that feeling you get when you think you'd like to bring up your interest in hypnosis or ask someone to be your subject? That feeling of anxiety that comes up and makes it so easy to do nothing and let another opportunity slip through your fingers? Some news for you: this feeling will never go away. I would say that most or indeed every hypnotist gets this feeling, but what distinguishes them is an ability to act in the face of it.

A lot of people think they can overcome anxiety by learning more, or maybe they're just procrastinating. Either way I'm afraid this doesn't work. By all means keep reading, but understand that the only way you will get to hypnotise someone is by just getting on with it.

The best analogue for the feeling I can think of for me has been in the past when there's been an attractive woman I've wanted to go and talk to. Something that the pickup artist community puts about is the idea of the so-called three second rule - when you see her you have three seconds to go over to her or it's over before it's even begun. I think employing a similar principle with opportunities for hypnosis is a good idea. In the moment don't give yourself time to think; have a routine ready so you know where to start; go straight in.

I mean it! Don't think, GO!

The good news is that this feeling is a peak not a plateau. If you can face it and climb over it you will find yourself coasting down the other side. Once over the top you'll be on what B.A. Baracas used to call "The Jazz" and trust me for that feeling alone it's worth it. Learn to embrace your anxiety as a positive sign that you're pushing the bounds of your comfort zone. It's the time for full speed ahead because if you backpedal or even coast for just a moment you will never have the momentum to make it over that peak.

2. Find a good subject

This would be worth a whole blog post in itself but I'll mention a few key things here.

I would advise against working to persuade someone to be your subject because I have never had particularly good results from doing this. More often than not they will be looking for the first opportunity to let you down gently by saying it isn't working.

Think differently; don't hunt for a subject, fish for one. Trust me, if you mention in passing to enough people that you know how to do hypnosis it will only be a matter of time before someone will ask you to hypnotise them. This is the person you want to work with.

If your reply to the above is that you've asked everyone you know and nobody wants to give it a try consider it a signal that you should be going out and broadening your circle of friends. After all, what use is this skill to you if you have nobody you can use it with?

Girlfriends/Boyfriends or family members can be the worst people to try on for the first time, so only use them if they are especially keen to try.

3. Be the hypnotist

This is the standard advice that anyone teaching hypnosis will give, with good reason of course because it is far more important than any technique you will ever learn as a hypnotist. Here's my spin on it.

It's completely possible learn an induction word for word and execute it by numbers absolutely perfectly yet have absolutely nothing will happen for the subject. If you find that this is happening for you repeatedly the chances are you are not being the hypnotist.

Hypnosis is a game of lead and follow; it's a dance. Yes knowing the steps is useful but your dance partner isn't going to follow your signal to metaphorically drop all their weight into your arms unless they are certain you can take their weight. They aren't going to cede their control over their situation to somebody who isn't themself clearly and confidently in control. This is what hypnotists mean when they talk about congruence, knowing the words but matching it with a confident tone of voice and body language. The best, if not the only, way to achieve congruence is through inner belief and confidence in what you are doing.

No method will ever hypnotise a subject; it's your undoubting belief that you are able to hypnotise the subject that hypnotises them. Learn the method, learn the principles, forget the method. Be the hypnotist.

4. You are going to fail

Don't believe what you see on youtube, not everybody is an amazing subject. You are going to come across people who just do not respond to you with hypnotic phenomena. If you get really, really good perhaps you'll achieve something like an 80% success rate in an impromptu setting. If you go to hypnotise people you are going to fail from time to time; it's inevitable. Deal with it.

Now cross out the word "fail". With the right mindset you cannot fail.

There's an expression, "sometimes you win, sometimes you learn". Success in finding a brilliant subject is a lot of fun but it's not a good teacher. Embrace the times when things don't go to plan because you will learn a lot from them. Ask your subject what they were thinking, what the experience was like, because you will start to spot patterns and improve your technique over time.

Also remember that as the hypnotist the chances are you are the only person who really knows what's going on and what's supposed to happen. Often the first sign observers and even your subject will get that something isn't quite going to plan is when you bring it to their attention. The best musicians get away with playing a wrong note by not missing a beat.

5. Have fun!

Finally if, like me, you're approaching this as a hobby for goodness sake remember that you are doing it for fun. Loosen up, relax and enjoy yourself; if you do your subject will too.

I hope this has been helpful. Part II to follow soon.