Trust and Responsibility

Recently I was reading another hypnosis blog, written by fella in the US, and there is a statement in one of his posts that I would be quite willing to carve in stone as the first law of being a hypnotist. Link here.

"(Hypnosis) is always about the other person. Satisfying their needs and curiousity whilst keeping them feeling safe should be your first, if not your only priority."

I have already talked a little about my feelings on the subject of taking on the responsibility associated with being the hypnotist, and I think the above statement describes the concept well.

Perhaps I would argue that "keeping them safe", and not just "feeling safe" would be more appropriate, but that is a fairly trivial point. I get the impression that the writer performs most of their hypnosis online, well away from the hazards of the more physical environment of, say, a pub, the street, or on stage.

What I am getting to here is trust and responsibility. Indeed, many hypnotists will talk of a metaphorical contract, a hypnotic contract, that both parties enter into. The subject agrees to follow the hypnotist's direction, and in return the hypnotist agrees to take responsibility for the subject.

Hypnosis is not mind control; the hypnotist has no more power over the subject than the subject is willing to hand over. That said, some individuals do not realise that they always retain ultimate control of themselves, and of course hypnosis isn't even needed for someone to place their trust in a person who really doesn't deserve to have it. In my opinion this is where there is potential for harm to be done.

In general I have found that for the most part hypnotists are likeable, ethical and trustworthy bunch. At least those who are willing to go out, meet people, and perform hypnosis face to face are. They have to be if they are to be able to get into rapport with their subjects, and to gain enough trust in a short time. A hypnotist who does not come across as being trustworthy, or who gains a reputation for not respecting their subjects, will soon find that potential subjects will turn them down.

Now, anyone who knows me will be able to confirm that I am a self-confessed trance junkie. I definitely enjoy the sensation of being in trance, and jump at the opportunity to experience more.

I'm also constantly champing at the bit to practice going into trance and try to achieve new phenomena. As far as I am able to tell the starting point for my ability to be hypnotised was exceptionally poor, and despite my enthusiasm to follow suggestions I still see myself as below average. In particular I have not yet been able to experience anything that noticeably alters my perception such as amnesia or hallucination.

So with both of these sources of motivaton gnawing at me you might find it surprising that I'm actually quite selective as to who I am willing to allow to hypnotise me. Well, actually in some cases those people will not be surprised given the constant badgering they get from me. It is actually quite a small number of people.

I don't think my selectiveness derives primarily from trust issues, at least not at present, because no hypnotist has yet been able to achieve any effect that I've been unaware of them doing, or found disagreeable. It's more that I find myself unable to enjoy a session with a hypnotist who doesn't respect their subject.

Generally speaking if someone is to hypnotise me I will like to know them reasonably well and to have seen them in action before I make my mind up. I don't really see this as a safety issue as such; it's more about avoiding a situation that will make me feel uncomfortable, so I'm generally interested in the sorts of things a hypnotist will want to do with their subject.

That said, the exception that tests the rule has been occasions in the past when I've been quite happy to be a volunteer for a first timer to practice on.

Where am I going with these ramblings? Well, on a couple of occasions recently I have been in the awkward situation where I have been faced with an offer from a hypnotist and not felt willing to accept their offer because of the way in which I have seen them conduct themselves with other subjects. It really is an awkward position to find oneself in, and it feels as though actually saying to someone "No thanks, I don't think I'd be comfortable going into trance for you" would be such a slap across the face I don't know if I could come out and say it.

So far I have been able to dodge the issue whenever it has come up. In some ways I almost feel sorry for those girls I asked out years and years ago who, when cornered, really didn't want to take me up on my offer, but also didn't want to hurt my feelings. The result was a lot of incredibly lame and unconvincing excuses. Why, I thought at the time, did they not just tell me they weren't interested? I guess I have a better understanding now.

In the end I think it comes down to trust and comfort zones, and being able to respect that the ultimate say lies with the subject. This is an essential part of being a good hypnotist.

So put the subject first. If you see yourself as someone who has specific goals to achieve with a subject go out and find a subject who shares those goals with you, but always put the subject first.